Negative space is one of the most important elements of art. In layman’s terms, negative space comprises the blank parts of a visual piece of art. If you examine the photo above, you can see how the leaves are emphasized by the emptiness around them. Without this element, most artwork would be so cluttered that the viewer cannot appreciate the design, color, and other elements of the piece.

I have spent the past eight years with a lack of negative space in my life. This is due to balancing demands that are, well, insane. First in medical school and then in residency, I was often at school and/or work for 80 hour weeks and coming home to a long list of family and household demands. I realized about two years into medical school, in the midst of a divorce and the associated mayhem, that I needed to step up my game and figure out a method for balancing the competing interests in my life so that nothing and no one was missed. 

Most of the habits of simple living in my life began as ways to be more organized and efficiently use my limited time. I needed to have a plan in order to fit the needs of five children and other loved ones in along with my educational and career goals. I also became more concerned about being eco-friendly and lowering my impact on the planet. Additionally, saving both money and time were essential at that part of my life, as both were in short supply.

These disparate interests all contributed to a simpler lifestyle by guiding me to focus on the things that are truly important. I was able to pursue a highly competitive education and go on regular adventures with my family while keeping the rest of my affairs in order. I plan to continue this lifestyle now that I am an attending physician working a normal work week. I feel no need to start acquiring more or to begin wasting my time. I suddenly have the “negative space” needed for the simple life I have been craving.

Simple living in modern chaos

Nearly all parents, perhaps even most adults in general, have crazy schedules. Modern life has so many complications with more chaos and moving parts than ever. Simplicity can seem impossible, especially when you are caring for one or more tiny humans or pets. For many, it seems that the only way to get the control of one’s time and energy is to make drastic life changes. If you have been thinking this, you are not alone. Because of the inherent discomfort of the rat race, many people are downshifting.

I can understand why checking out is attractive. Rather than focusing on being as productive and as profitable as possible at any emotional and physical toll, you can craft a life that puts work and career in its proper context. Unfortunately, that kind of major life change is not possible, or at least not immediately possible, for many of us.

The simple life comes a lot easier when you have a cottage on a farm and no obligations. For the rest of us, the phrase ‘simple living’ can be intimidating. There are ways to simplify without quitting your job and selling your children to the circus.

In fact, an increasing number of people are giving the (modified) simple life a try. I have been consciously choosing to live more simply since I started medical school. Recently, a lot of my friends and neighbors are having the same ideas. I have seen a particularly steep take off in simple living as a trend since the first Covid-19 lockdown. At a time when every facet of life feels incredibly complicated, simple living is appealing to more and more of us.

What is simple living?

A lot of people get confused and think that one has to have a certain aesthetic or live in an old fashioned way in order to have a simple life. However, it is important to remember that simple living is a lifestyle choice and a value set, not an aesthetic. You can embrace a simple life in a modern high-rise apartment or have an incredibly complicated one in a picturesque thatched cottage.

The dictionary tells us that simple can mean “easily understood or done; presenting no difficulty” or alternately “plain, basic, or uncomplicated in form, nature, or design; without much decoration or ornamentation.” The first refers more to the experience of living simply while the second is more about an aesthetic. When most people discuss simple living, they are talking about making choices that lead to less friction and difficulty in life. In other words, simple living means rejecting parts of your life that are complicated, fussy, or that otherwise bring you stress while holding tight to the elements that bring you true happiness and inner peace.

How this is implemented will vary from person to person. You are the painter of your life. Only you can decide which elements of your life are negative space and which are critical parts of the design. Most proponents of simple living agree that the following five items are important parts of this lifestyle:

1. Choosing experiences and people over things.

2. Reducing drains on energy, time, and money.

3. Working hard, although not necessarily at a traditional job

4. Being fully present and mindful throughout your day

5. Seeking simple pleasures

A step by step guide to getting started on your path to simple living

Simple living is such a broad concept and yet individual enough that it can be difficult to decide how and where to get started. The following step-by-step plan is how I was able to trade a rat race for a cottage by the sea:

– Decide what you want more of in your life. Simple living provides the negative space needed to amplify the things you truly love. My three priorities are time with loved ones, new experiences, and security. Knowing the core values of my life allows me to easily evaluate whether different habits are worth my effort. If you do not know your end goals, the details simply will not fall into line.

– Identify and eliminate drains on energy, time, and money. Once you have determined what you want out of life, you should start evaluating everything on your to-do list and calendar by whether and how they meet those goals. Does your job bring in enough money to justify the drain on your energy and time? What about your commute? Do your volunteer activities bring the satisfaction and results you seek? Do you spend more time than you should in ironing and organizing your clothing? Are you commuting an hour each way when you might be able to move closer to your work? Look at your life with fresh eyes to see where you are leaking precious resources. Free up your energy, money, and time for pursuing your core values.

– Use time efficiently. I have morning and evening routines that let me get through most of my personal and household busy work efficiently. I keep a planner so I can keep track of the many demands of my life without spending too much mental energy on them. I plan meals, outfits, cleaning schedules, and everything that can possibly be planned. Why? Because planning allows my days as a working mom and now homesteader to go smoothly so I can enjoy my life with less stress. Chores that do not support my goals but are nonetheless necessary get checked off as quickly as possible to free my bandwidth for the things that matter.

– Replace time sinks with productive uses of time. Research has found that when activities are easy, we don’t get as much psychological reward from them. Many of the time-busters available now are not just easy but addictive. As engaging as message boards and social media may be, they are the low-hanging fruit of the modern world. These types of entertainment can suck up time without offering much in return. Television and gaming similarly offer an easy way to pass time but with rapidly diminishing rewards. This is not to say that I never engage in these, but I don’t pick up the phone or remote until I have finished my to-do list, checked in with my people, and spent time in creative work. The more time I spend knitting, baking, and playing with my children, the less I miss spending hours a day in front of screens.

– Free yourself from excessive possessions. This will reduce the amount you spend on different items, the time needed to care for belongings, and the space needed to store them all in one dramatic change. Mari Kondo has become a celebrity simply for asking people what household objects bring them joy. What a revolutionary idea! You can apply the same strategy to all aspects of your life and feel the simplicity and peace sink in immediately. For example, I spend a few minutes a week planning what to wear and how to style outfits because I have just enough clothing and accessories. I can fit all of my clothes in half of a coat closet and half a six drawer dresser, which is currently all the space I have. In addition, buying less clothing leaves me ample budget to invest in high-quality goods that are perfect for my style when I need them. This attitude does not only apply to my clothing; I have konmaried most of my home with great results.

– Identify the boulders in your path. Although my blog mainly looks at smaller changes that can help, sometimes you need to roll that boulder out of your way in order to continue toward your destination. For me, the main obstacles were my job (as a resident at the time) and my geographical area. Because neither of these were immediately changeable, I simply focused on other areas until I graduated. Moving and changing jobs are both huge undertakings that took years of planning but they are already paying off. We pay less in rent for a cottage with almost an acre of property than we did for a small apartment in the Seattle area. My commute to work is less than half a mile and easily walkable in good weather. Because I am working for a rural employer in an area that needs my skills, I am earning a competitive salary and have many more repayment options for my student loans. Getting rid of a huge barrier can kickstart progress toward your goals.

In its most distilled form, simple living means cutting out the parts of your life that are not worth the time and effort to leave more for the things that add meaning and joy. Although this requires a change in perspective for many of us, it is one that comes with a great deal of reward. What are you doing to simplify your life today?